Observations From an Outsider On the Inside

I don't really know how to start this post. I mean, I kinda want to write about how bad the economy is around here, but you already know that. In Norway we constantly get updates on the world's economy and politics through news papers and TV and radio and what-not and we might even blow it up and make it seem worse than it really is even though we probably won't notice it wherever we live. But being here in the middle of the downfall is...really hard to describe. Because I feel so helpless.

Being in the middle of everything means that I should be able to help, right? But it's so overwhelming, so out of reach, far away and at the same time way too personal. I am one of the lucky "citizens", (if I may call myself an American citizen for this one year only), who isn't affected that much by the bad economy in America. My host parents got pretty stable jobs, and my money doesn't even come from them so I am probably never going to notice the downfall, in a way. That does not keep my friends, however, from feeling the pinch. For being struck up close and personal when their parents are getting laid off. One of my friends here recently experienced how bad things are going when both of her parents lost their jobs in the same week. She no longer has a phone, it got taken away because her parents didn't have money to pay for it anymore, and they are living on food stamps. Luckily the school provides free breakfast and lunch for the students who have a hard time paying 1 DOLLAR and 25 cents for their meal everyday...

On the other hand it all affects me. How can I ignore the "FOR RENTAL" signs standing in almost every other front yard, the homeless people sleeping under a bridge, the women and men getting drunk every week day as if they can swallow down their bad luck. In the commercial breaks at TV, (which by the way are every five minutes and hell yeah it's annoying!!), I hear, whenever I forget to mute the sound, how to save money, how to not pay too much, not to loose your house, how to get cheap and secure insurance, how to tell your kids that you might not get dinner tomorrow. The never ending commercials promise "secure" loans and fake hopes for people in need for not only money, but faith in a nation who once stood tall and proud, but now has the weights of a worlds expectations on it's shoulders.

Some say that the economy is getting better, or more stable to be accurate. Personally, I don't know. I should probably read more about it and know more about how the taxes raise and how the insurance companies rip off people, but I don't. It's hard enough to look into my friends' eyes and know that they might not have a home in a couple of months, to listen to them talk about how their parents are getting drunk on Tuesdays to drown their problems, to talk about how my sister gets to go to Portugal, South Africa and Sweden when they might not even be able to pay for their gas. I don't even know how to comfort them, they won't take my pity; that is not going to pay their bills. I feel like running away, just to avoid facing everything ahead. At the same time I know that I can't and that I will always remember how their heads turned away in shame when they admitted to live upon other people's charity and the government's money.

So...what happened to the Land of Dreams again..?





Peace, and Hope for a better future. Ida.

My Art #3

Peace out. Ida. (for dere som ikke vet det enda saa gjor du den storre ved aa trykke paa bildet)

My Art

Peace out. Ida

New Years and old memories

I know we are supposed to be so excited and happy and what-not for the new year and I am, really. It's just that time moves so fast I'm having a hard time keeping track. My life so far have been great in any way you can imagine. I have been so lucky, so damn lucky that it's hard to picture it any other way. And I'm so grateful for everything. It's just that I wish I could stop time. Just to be able to enjoy everything a bit more.

I remember being only eight, eight and free for responsibility, no concerns, no question about my life, no need for plans and calculations, no budget..well no money either though..Ten years ago I was innocent, naive and childish. I believed in unicorns and witches, fairies and angels. I thought that I one day would find a rope hanging down from the sky and that I would climb up there, listen to angels sing and children laugh. Santa was still real and the money that appeared at my night stand still came from the tooth fairy now one had yet seen, I was going to become a princess and a mermaid, my sister was still cutting off my Barbies' hair, I was still cutting holes in her clothes. Everything was normal. No bad guys and Prince Charming always came riding on his white, shiny horse in the end.

Now the happy endings are no guarantee, either is the white horse riding prince. If there is one he is either ugly as hell or too good to be true. Either or it's never going to end as in the fairy tales we so gullibly believed. I grew out of princess dresses and crowns, the fact that dad is Santa and mom the toothfairy is no longer so devestating. And all the ghosts and monsters from under my bed are on a permanent vacation at my uncle and aunt's place. Still ghosts seem to be haunting me, lost friends, forgotten pets and grandparents who kicked their bucket years back.
But who doesn't have creepy deamons lurking in their closets anyways...

About my red thread, yeah I guess I kinda threw it out the window...sorry.

Peace. Ida.