"I feel safe today. I don't know how to describe it. I just feel safe, you know? Like whatever people say, I know that I won't care, that I am not afraid of people judging me or commenting on whatever I am wearing. Back home, I never really felt safe. Even though I trust the people around me over there, I was always careful not to say anything stupid or wear something too weird. Always thinking twice over what to say before it came out. Here it is more like, I can't say anything wrong. Or if I do, people don't care, and that makes me care less too.
Right here, right now I fit in. Like I was born to be here, with these people, in this house, at this school. I love my life so much right now that I feel like if I wasn't here people would notice. I know it sounds stupid, how can you miss something you never had or never did, right? And I know that if I had stayed home this year it wouldn't be that different here, but still I kind of want to believe that people would miss me if I wasn't here.
Today at the mall, I was in the bookstore with one of my friends and he was reading about this book and I stood beside him reading over his shoulder and then he said that he had the weirdest deja vu..like if he had been there in some wicked dream, over one year ago, with me. I believed him. Not because I dream about stuff that happen a while later, but because I like to believe in that kind of stuff. It makes me think about faith, that there is a plan laid out for us. Like I was supposed to go here, supposed to meet these people. I know it sounds whacked and sick, but still.. I really can't deny the feeling I have right now.
Maybe there is a plan for everyone, maybe there is a certain path that we are meant to follow, to stay on. Taking shortcuts now and then changes the outcome, but still we kind of end up just as planned. I don't know if I want it to already be planned, at the same time I kind of do. "
Got some strange things going on here right now. Messy thoughts I guess. No sleep tonight then..oh well...I'll do my best.
Peace. IDa.
Abonner på:
Legg inn kommentarer (Atom)
Ingen kommentarer:
Legg inn en kommentar